I surrender everything; not in defeat, but release. I surrender all fear. I surrender all things I cannot control, I surrender my anger, my resentment, my anxiety. I surrender all of the not knowing, I surrender all that is not understood that leaves me in frustration. I surrender all that I am carrying, all that weighs me down and heavies my heart.
I was out this evening around 9 pm, taking our dog for a walk and giving myself a much needed breather. The night air was crisp and refreshing and so was the silence. I could also smell the cozy scent of firewood burning. Nature was already lifting my spirits. I looked up at the clear sky and brightly shining stars and began to pray.
I didn't realize how much I have internalized until it started to blow up. I was OK yesterday, and then today, "Kaboom!" It was like I was a landmine and the shrapnel was my rage.
So, I began to pray as I walked. I had learned about surrender prayers from Tosha Silver, and for me, they give me the relief and peace I need when I am feeling out of control. What else can I do? It doesn't serve me to carry all of this emotional turmoil around. It just makes me feel worse in mind and body, and in these isolated and close quarters, everyone else feels it too.
I will leave you with this prayer of hers. May you also find the peace from the act of surrendering during these turbulent uncertain times.
All my love,